Facing the Fear of Change: Big Risks Can Bring Big Rewards

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” ~Barack Obama

If someone said to you, “Hey, you know how you are feeling the need for change and you’re not sure what to do? Well, I can’t tell you what to do, but I can guarantee that if you follow where your heart leads you, you’ll create the possibility of more joy than you’ve ever felt before. All you have to do is walk through the doors that will keep opening up for you and trust, completely, that you are on the right track. You may question it at times, but keep going. You’ll be fine no matter what.”

What would you do? Would you follow the guarantee or would you keep doing what you’re doing?

What if the caveat was added, “Oh, you should probably know that if you do this, you run the risk of losing much of what you’ve known and who you think you are now will look completely different the next time you look in the mirror.”

Ummmm… hold up. Let me think about that.

That’s basically what happens when you know it’s time to change up your life and you’re innately scared to do so.

So, what do you do?

I spend a lot of time in deep reflection and introspection. And it’s not because I want to; it’s because I am constantly trying to understand myself, to figure out where I’m headed and what’s potentially holding me back from getting there.

Most of the time, I feel completely in the dark. And while my grandmother always told me that there is nothing in the dark that can hurt you, I’m human; I question this theory. And yet I continue to trust that she’s right. She lived over eighty years and was the most inspirational woman I’ve known; she must’ve learned something pretty valuable to be expressing these bold opinions.

So I had the nudge to change myself and I went with it. No, that’s not accurate—I had the internal and external shove and I went for it.

In the matter of a few short years, I got divorced, bought a house, lived alone with my kids, completely supported myself financially and then left my job, started a business, and changed the majority of my friends. I chose to start completely over in many ways.

On paper, I looked a bit off balanced. Keep Reading...

Forgiveness on the Road to Freedom

I woke up early this morning watching the warm shades of red and orange fill the sky over the horizon from my bed. The view never gets old for me. Each sunrise boasts of possibility, of hope and promise of another opportunity to embrace the adventure of this life, never quite knowing what is coming next.

I have always been a lover of the early morning. I feel like no matter what happened yesterday, I have the chance to start over today. It’s my choice of what I want to do with it.

Today was feeling especially auspicious and once I noticed the date, I knew why. It’s my mother’s birthday. This day has come and gone 27 times since the day she took her life.  It slips in right in the middle of the holiday season and nudges me to reflect.  For 27 years, I’ve felt waves of sadness and remorse, anger and regret, riding on top of a guilty sense of relief underneath.

Occasionally, I’d lightly share this remembrance with someone, but for the most part, I kept the memory just out of reach of my heart and my mind….never quite knowing what to do with it. 
In 19 days, it will be the anniversary of her death, and then five days later, my own birthday. A day I’ve struggled with since her exit from this world. 

This past birthday was especially challenging for me.  I woke up angry.  I mean I was really angry.  I had taken the day off and was setting out for an adventure and instead of feeling gratitude, I just felt enraged…at my mother. 

Once I realized I was mad at her, I became mad at myself.  Why was I feeling all this anger so many years later? I felt like I had hashed out and released all my pent up emotional junk. How could there be any left? And why now? I didn’t understand and that just made me judge myself even more harshly.

But man, I was ticked. I sat in my bathroom and cried, yelling at her, asking what kind of mother takes her life and leaves her child only days before their birthday. How could she have been so selfish, so insensitive?  How could I not have been important enough? Old feelings of not being good enough flooded me. I sat in a puddle of my own misery. The hurt little girl who just wanted to be loved was fully exposed.

A few hours later I bounced back.  I always bounce. My rational brain took over and put all of my feelings in perspective, but I was still emotionally sore from being stretched so far. I knew why this year was different.  This was the year I would outlive my mother. She died when she was 41 years and 19 days old, and I had just turned 41.  In my rage, I was going to be damned if I was not going to continue to make it my ongoing goal to live my life as fully as possible.  Happiness was mine to have. I earned it and I was determined to keep accessing it in myself.

As it winds down, I can see that 41 has proven to be one of the most transformative of my life. I’ve spent more time digging into the deep parts of myself to uncover my long held patterns of resistance, self-sabotage and feelings of lack.  I’ve re-evaluated all of my relationships and assessed how I interact, how I invest emotionally…or not, and how I run in fear when my heart feels remotely threatened. 

About two months ago, an opportunity developed for me to look at myself when the threat of loss once again stared me down questioning what I was going to do about it. I dove down again, identifying deep seated patterns in myself, dating back to early life with my mother.  I saw my fears, my resistance, and how my unconditional love for my mother turned conditional when I sensed her time here was short.

I saw how I pulled away and shut down and left her feeling unclear how I felt about her when she died. I felt my old guilt slam into me, devastated by the loss. I saw all the reasons why I held on to the anger, to protect me from getting hurt again. I let it come up and pour out of me, overflowing waves of sorrow and regret. And then…I saw it all for what it was and forgave my mother for not being what I wanted her to be and for myself wanting to protect myself.  She was, and I was, in fact, human.

And that feeling, letting go of the anger and guilt, was the freedom I’d been craving for a very long time. For the first time, since my mother’s death, I felt my mother’s energy in a very different way. It was light and flowing and a soft pink. I felt her embrace me as I let her in. She wanted to support me and I let her.

I could go on and on and explain how our early relationships with our parents and caregivers impacts every other relationship in our lives. Any dysfunction that exists begin the patterns that last until something proves important enough to stop us and realize we don’t want to repeat them. And it’s not until we change ourselves while also accepting ourselves that our lives and our experiences will change accordingly.

These revelations are a culmination of the work I’ve spent rebuilding my relationship with myself. Getting to know the real me. The scarred parts that continue to heal and the eternal optimist who has made peace with her internal masochist. The one who is always striving to be the best and most authentic version of herself. 

She is real and she is spectacular.

(Seinfeld anyone? I simply cannot help it)

So today, I am celebrating the new relationship I have with my mother, as well as myself.  The birthday of new beginnings, the dawn of opportunity, the celebration of all things learned that brought me into this fascinating existence that is my life.

Happy Birthday Mom! Thanks for getting me here. I Love You.

There's Purpose In Pain and A Gift In Every Loss

“There’s a bit of magic in everything and loss to even things out.”- Lou Reed
 
“Although I have spent years training myself to reverse my own anxiety, I have only left survival mode in the last couple months and am learning what that feels like and to be comfortable fully trusting that I am and my children are taken care of. I am at my goal of better than fine- but I’ve never been here before.  And while I know my work is in the interim of where I’ll end up, I am learning to appreciate where I am in the journey. It’s a wonderful and foreign place and I know this appreciation is also a practice, but it feels incredibly important.  I don’t want to just say I am grateful, I want to fully feel it. I am whole without more, just as I am. I create as I choose.  Peace is happening now if I allow it. Big revelation.”

I sent this text to one of my closest friends one morning after a particularly empowering meditation.  Our daily conversations were always this deep, introspective and growth oriented.  It felt good to write out my inner thoughts and fears and I was excited for every one of her heartfelt and insightful replies.

Her response…”That is incredible! I understand the angst of living in the now. Took me years of working hard at trying to change my patterns and reactions that I picked up as a result of living so many years with fear, angst and chaos. So Lynn, live it, breathe it, be it! You earned it! I’ve only known you a short time, but this has been the best year of my entire life. A year of learning, understanding and clarity, it’s been incredible sharing my thoughts, dreams and sorrows. Thank you.  Thank you for what was, what is and what will be.  I am so grateful for you! For your friendship, for your support, for your love, I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”

Five days later, after many more texts, and one evening of sharing our joy through our growing pains in person, my treasured friend died in her sleep.  Unexpectedly for those who loved her, her soul exited peacefully and left an enormous hole in the hearts of her son, family and friends who relied on her unwavering strength and glowing light to keep us comforted and inspiring our own power.

I, for one, was devastated.

The peace I had felt a week prior was shattered. I felt nothing but shock, anger, confusion and a deep, deep sadness. But worst of all, I felt alone.  Keep Reading...

When Grief Finds Its Purpose

“Hey, I found this outside the door with your name on the card,” she said holding a beautifully wrapped gift box, her hands extending it to me.

“Really?” I questioned. Who would be leaving me a gift outside my office door?  As I began to read the card, I felt silly by the obviousness of it all.  It was from my mischievous friend, standing right in front of me. I laughed and felt ridiculous at the same time.  My friend, Jayne, who I had met through work, had become one of my strongest cheerleaders and supporters in my life in a very short amount of time and I was grateful she was simply in the room. I’d spent so much time with clients lately, I'd forgotten the feeling of human friendship in the flesh.

Good Things are on Their Way to You, it read, along with a heartfelt note of thanks for our friendship and acknowledgement of just how much it meant to her.  The gifts inside the box were a blend of silly and serious tokens.  A spiritual book her mentor had written, novelty napkin and matches with funny pictures and sayings, and a few other items that represented just the kinds of things that would make us smile and pause. It was the perfect gift.

We waited a few minutes to acknowledge that we were, in fact, alone in the office.  We were running an empowerment group we just began advertising for and were thrilled that no one showed up.  It was just us, happy friends who got to spend the next hour telling stories of our week and the immense growth we were feeling and a genuine appreciation that our previous struggles were finally beginning to pay off…and more importantly, we were understanding why. 

We laughed hard at ourselves and the texts we sent earlier in the day.  She had become that friend for me, that offered me daily support and we would text each other all day long with updates and words of encouragement and insight…like an interactive friend journal. We knew just how the other was feeling and exchanged the play by plays of learning our daily lessons in living. Deep, spiritual and always an additional bonus of humor. She totally got me.

When she walked out the door that night, she showed me how big her pants were and I scolded her for wearing them.  Money was tight for her and she didn’t want to add more to her credit card and I went on a tangent about deserving and blah, blah, blah…buy some pants that feel good.  While I was getting in my car, she yelled out, “I Love You!” and I responded that I loved her back, thinking, “Huh, I should say that more often.”  I looked over at my friend waving goodbye and she looked stunning…and happy.

That would be the last vision I had of her.

My beautiful friend went home that night and died quietly in her sleep.

To fill in the gap of what I’ve experienced since that last sentence would be a book in itself. It’s been…incredibly painful. And I am no stranger to grief.

I’ve thought a lot about loss since then and why it’s such a challenge to manage emotionally.  I see how the more we attach ourselves to people, ideas and beliefs, the more we risk being hurt when we discover those people, ideas and beliefs can change overnight.  The stronger we attach, the higher the risk of disappointment if something goes “wrong.” They are the kind of thoughts where anxiety festers, and a fear of attachment begins.

It’s so easy to focus on loss when it happens…everything that’s missing.  All that we’ve lost, including the loss of the dream of the future and the way we thought it would be.  We focus on the change.  It’s a typical response and it hurts like crazy.

But when we slow down and look at what we’ve gained from a person or an idea that didn’t play out the way we once believed it would, we can begin to pull out the positives, the gifts, the experiences we wouldn’t have had otherwise.  And that’s when we can start to see the gain in almost anything.

If I was given the offer to create a friendship with a person who would change my life and perspective in such a way it would alter my view of my world, myself, how I give, how I love and how I want to grow-- but it would be taken away from me when I least expected it, would I take the offer?

Would I have had the courage to accept the experience for what it was?

I’m a risk taker, but risking dropping the peace in my heart is not my strong suit.

And yet, I took a risk to befriend someone who altered my life forever so profoundly that I will never be the same. I will take all that she taught me to expand my view of faith and create new opportunities that wouldn’t haven’t been inspired without her.  I will hear her voice when I’m scared and she will counsel me through as I try to avoid all that I want to pursue, but am fearful of.

Without taking the risk to attach, to love, to let go and trust that we are supported by life, how can we ever live in our dreams? Every idea and experience and person comes into our lives to teach us something and when they are present, we are unaware of how they will play out.  Does that mean we are best to avoid them? How many incredible experiences would we miss out on if we chose not to risk potential temporary discomfort?

When we look back on all the pains we’ve lived through, how many would we give up if it meant we couldn’t be where we are?

I wouldn’t give mine up either. I wouldn’t be who I am without the risks and challenges and I am liking this woman I see transforming. I am eternally grateful for what I’ve learned. Worth every tear I’ve shed and feeling of emptiness, especially now that I am beginning to refill my own cup.

When assessing risk, the ultimate question becomes, which will bring me closer to my joy and which will take me further away?  I choose joy in whatever form it comes in. You?

The Inspirologist

Less than two weeks prior to her transition, Jayne Fletcher climbed her final steps to clarity on Earth with her son, divinely timed as usual, before her rise to clarity in the Heavens. Her growth and light were extraordinary and her learning immense. She longed to share them.

Jayne shared her pride with me via text…“I have never been more proud of myself. Never. Never in my entire life. I’m so proud of my accomplishments I’ve made in my life, to bring me to where I am today. It’s incredible. I am blessed and I am fortunate for all that is. Thank you.”

This first quote was the text she sent me when she reached the top of the physical steps of the tower she climbed, facing a long standing fear. I share her words and story as the Inspirologist with you to allow your heart to grow and expand as hers did. 

“I’m so clear on my dream and when I spoke it out loud, I was inspired by my own strength, clarity and direction.” The Inspirologist

When I first met Jayne only a year ago, I was immediately drawn to her.  We were being invited to work in a spiritual healing center and create our own network of clients.  We both spoke of our current status of life transition, leaving jobs unexpectedly and knowing it was clearly to do the work our soul craved.  Yet, it was scary and unstable and a huge risk.  And we were waist deep in working to make things work while embracing the faith we believed we needed to move forward living a trust based life. But the truth was, we couldn’t get ourselves to do anything else.

Our connection was instant and my trust of her and in her was an enormous gift from the start. She made it easy.  She laughed at my jokes, understood my intense emotions and shared my passion for hope.  It was clear we were meant to work together.

“Love is our survival. We seek it for so many reasons, but the primary is acceptance.” -The Inspirologist

As our friendship grew, so did our self love. We took turns supporting each other as life twisted and turned with moments of gratitude and moments of frustration and pain.  We shared our dreams and what we’d learned and the value we found in each experience, challenging or blissful, they each had a gift.  We looked for the deeper meaning of discomfort and pulled out the pieces which gave us solace. 

Jayne believed in the power of love as the strongest method of healing. Looking inside ourselves and seeing who we truly are and knowing that we deserve all good things that come our way. Without self love, we are unable to accept love from the outside.  Without self-acceptance, we can not fully grasp that we deserve all things beautiful and bright.

“Accepting who you are is key. Accepting who you are diminishes the insecurities and the fear.”-The Inspirologist.

Jayne knew that seeing our internal strength was the only way to find true peace.  We can look outside of ourselves and grip onto the strength of another, but it will not give the lasting strength we desire.  We can search for acceptance and approval through others from the outside world, but it is only our own eyes that clearly see our truth. When we accept ourselves, we accept the life around us.  

“How would you feel if you were alone? Feel inside what it is…then heal from that place.” The Inspirologist

Jayne spent the last few years entrenched in her own healing and understanding. She knew it was the only way to move forward with grace and knowledge.  She wanted that knowledge, she asked for it, and it was hand delivered in many ways.  She found her strength to heal in her faith, in her ability to truly KNOW that she was loved and supported.  

“Trust the process, hold the vision. Hold true to what you want.” The Inspirologist

Jayne practiced trust each day.  She recited her morning prayers and affirmations with consistency, living in peace and wholeness with every chance she could get.  She loved her vision.  She nurtured it, fed it, held it next to her heart so it would feel the life she breathed into it.  She wanted to help people grow and heal.  And she did.  She shared her words, her knowings, her gift to connect with Heaven and all those who inhabit it.  Her work as a medium was fulfilling, but not as fulfilling as sharing her belief in the power of self-love.

“Reality- people want to believe. They’re desperate to hold on, to understand, to see. They need validation, they need love. They need to hear.” The Inspirologist

I knew I was meant to meet Jayne to learn more about myself and feel the genuine connection of friendship.  She was my reflection of strength, faith and self-love and taught me what love really means….internal strength, trust and peace.

“You have all the resources from within. Trust.” The Inspirologist

Jayne’s life path was not an easy one, but she was grateful for it.  She knew her lessons were meant to help her be who she dreamed of.

“As I’m sitting here by myself, I feel such gratitude and growth.  Learning may be a pain in the ass, but it does feel flipping awesome.” The Inspirologist

When Jayne finally began sharing her insight and knowledge on Facebook, it was like she gave birth to herself. Her voice was being heard. She was impressed with herself and she felt adoring passion for her work.  

“This has been the best year of my entire life.  A year of learning, understanding and clarity, it’s been incredible sharing my thoughts, dreams and sorrows. Thank you.  Thank you for what was, what is and what will be. I am so grateful. I’m the luckiest girl in the world.” The Inspirologist

Jayne left this world so filled with love for herself, for her little Buddha Matthew (who by the way, she quoted so often for her own inspiration) and for her life.  She came to learn and teach and that she did. And without question, she will continue to teach from the other side.

As I read through months of our texts of support, I embraced the many lessons she helped me see. So profound, so loving, so filled with depth and knowledge. And yet her support for all of us continues on…

“FYI...you got this. You can handle anything that comes your way! Remember that! Breathe and know that this is a learning for another step in the direction of your goals. I heard you needed to hear that.” – The Inspirologist

Jayne is a power player in this great Universe of ours and God continues to shine her light. She wouldn’t have it any other way.  She wants us to embrace the moments we have and appreciate the journey. It’s the quickest way to a peaceful and joy filled life.

“No one knows the exact timing your life, Dear One, when you are ready, it will find you. Be present, be open, be free. Free of expectations of what lies ahead.” The Inspirologist

The evening before Jayne transitioned to Heaven, she and I spent our last hour together sharing our excitement and our growth. She was filled with happiness and pride and in awe of her own courage.  She was simply…stunning.

On her last day on Earth, she learned her final lesson.

“I found my greatest love through fear.” The Inspirologist

Jayne faced her strongest fears and was rewarded with the gift of peace. A peace she wants to share with all you. I share with you a last message of love…

“Understand that the truth of what lies ahead is in the path of greatness. Go be great! You are progressing at warp speed to achieve greatness not only within love, but within the circle of life. Go to the edge where you’ve never been before. Go In Peace”

- With all her love, The Inspirologist

Turning Grief Into Gratitude

As I come upon the one year anniversary of a life changing event for me, a time where I want to focus on celebrating my accomplishments, I instead find myself rounding up my grief.  

I don’t speak of it often because the event is still confusing for me and pangs of anger and sadness can rise up quicker than I can escort them out. It is a story of betrayal, of lies, of weakness and yet, an event that would cause me to dig deep to decide and follow through on how I would allow myself to be treated and what I truly deserved.

I was told I would no longer have my job, a job I once dreamt of having, a job I did well at, a job where I grew close friends who had supported me through some of the other major life changes I’d undergone…getting married, having my babies, deaths of loved ones and even the end of my marriage.  In so many ways I grew up there, it was my security, it was my home base, and then when I least expected it, it told me I was not welcome there anymore.

Let me be clear, I still had a job, but not at the place I had called my home.  I was not fired, I was told that I would have no choice but to take a different job if I still wanted employment.  For someone like me who needs to understand EVERYTHING, it made no sense at all.  I had not done anything wrong. I was good at what I did. I created opportunity to give as much as I could while I was there. Yet, I knew in my heart why it was happening.  I knew I didn’t belong there anymore, but it hurt tremendously.  

The feeling of intense heartache and anger was not foreign. It was not the first time I had been treated poorly in my life. And I knew I had to make a decision on if I would allow the pattern to continue or if I could muster the courage to change it.  I asked myself the same questions over and over again…what do you want, what would you do if you removed the fear, and what would you tell yourself if you were your own spouse? My answers came quickly, but it didn’t stop me from asking them…repeating “Are you sure? Are you really sure?” I was sure, but wow, it was scary.

I was quickly reminded it wasn’t just about me. I had children to think about, a mortgage, and no actual knowledge of what life outside my little bubble would look like. Prior to making my decision to leave a secure job completely, I didn’t even know what the hell I was going to do!

And so began my first step in my giant leap….huge leap….of Faith.  I knew myself well enough to know once I made up my mind there would be no turning back.  And there wasn’t.

I want to tell you that it was smooth sailing after that. I want to tell you there have been no obstacles. I want to tell you that the fear dissolves.  But the truth is, even being on the “right” path, there are still obstacles, there are storms like I’ve never seen, there are fears that follow me around like we have been besties for years and they still lie to me that they are keeping me safe. The learning curves for me are enormous.  And I become overwhelmed and frustrated and exhausted.  

Yet, when I think of what my life would have been like if I chose the other path, I can’t even fathom how I’d still be breathing. I would have survived, I would have made it work, but I wouldn’t be truly living….at least not comfortably in my skin. And not directly on the path to my own happiness.

 A year later, I AM living an authentic life.  One I’ve had great help designing and one that hasn’t even begun to exploit what I know I have yet to do. I am given amazing gifts nearly every day. Extraordinary highs I've never experienced and a sense of knowing I would have never believed existed. I have had spontaneous tears of joy that seem to come from nowhere and the sensation of my passion bubbling to the surface. I hear myself say thank you all day long...and I mean it from the depths of my soul.

I wish my accomplishments took the sadness out for me. I wish I didn’t still feel the heartache. But maybe that’s just the reminder, that I had a good life to walk away from.  And there really don’t need to be any regrets.  It was just time to move on to the next part of who I am.  

Acceptance…the last stage of grief.  I’m just a few tears away.

I was telling my son that I will be celebrating the date and he highlighted my bravery, stating that not everyone has the courage to do what I’ve done. I disagreed and still disagree. Everyone has the same amount of bravery to access, it’s whether we choose to use it or not.  

How do you want to live your life?  We are all asked the same question and we are all given opportunity to create exactly what we want.  And when the opportunity presents itself, and it always does… it’s our call what comes next.

The Goddess and The Cat Poop

One of my favorite parts of tapping into my spirituality and seeing the world in a different view is recognizing the ongoing symbolism around us. For an analytical brain like mine, it’s like Field Day in grammar school playing with the conversations and events of the day to understand the direction I’m going in.  So many options and angles to look at and wonder what their deeper meaning is…or question if I’m just looking too hard and the explanation is far more simple than I’m seeing.  Some days I’m the fastest kid in the race, others I’m the most skilled at maneuvering around the obstacles and many, many days, I simply forget to move off the starting line.

I am very fortunate to have a Spirit Sister in this road of my journey.  We could easily talk all day long of the amazing “coincidences” that seem to guide us daily.  What I love the most is how similar we both are in our awe and excitement of everything we learn.  Like children in candy stores, we marvel at sweet surprises and laugh when the candy we were just talking about shows up in our hand. We also take turns in our stages of distrust and confusion, thank God! When one of us goes down, the other is typically standing firm in her knowing that we are in fact, exactly where we need to be and it’s all part of the process of reaching our destination…whatever or wherever that is.

So last week, when we were both struggling with intense feelings of grief, loss and emotion overload, it was not nearly as much fun.  By the weekend, it was a slow climb up to ground level and we were in need of some healing work ourselves.  Since we both practice and love IET, we scheduled in a healing swap, one after the other.

I took the practitioner role in the first round and went right to my happy place of pulling out stagnant energy in her field that needed to go.  Goodbye negativity. You are not welcome here anymore.  By the end of her session I was seeing a huge, beautiful, multicolored butterfly in her soul and I gotta tell you, it was massive. Like I would have been borderline claustrophobic if it wasn’t so incredibly gorgeous.  And being that butterflies are a symbol of the cycle of life in the work that she does, as well as it being a time for her to spread her wings, there was no guessing as to why the big ass butterfly was there.

Then it was my turn! I was already relaxed from channeling the energy so this was like a double dose of awesomeness.  I asked for two things to happen during this healing (yes, you can make requests). First I asked for the intense full moon energy to amplify my healing session and next, I asked that my knee which felt like it was just crunched internally when I twisted it wrong and was throbbing, be healed.  By the way, I’m always skeptical, but it’s worth a shot.

I think we were unblocking any feelings and thoughts of distrust when there was a scratch at the door.  “Hmm...this never happens, I must let her in.” said my Spirit Sister.  And then I heard scratch, scratch, scratch. Uh oh.  The cat came in to use her litter box and left us with a very stinky gift. “Seriously?” I asked, what is the meaning behind this?”  I started laughing and couldn’t stop, neither one of us could.  It was so stinky and seemingly so purposeful! 

“Get the shit out?” We questioned.

“I’m full of shit?” 

“Time to clear out the old?”

“Are you shitting me?” 

So many possibilities.

Towards the middle of my session a Goddess came in and named herself to my Spirit Sister.  The Goddess named Freja.

I know nothing about Goddesses except that I strive to be one. We resolved to look her up afterwards.  A flock of doves came in as well. How fun!! 

As the session ended, I noticed that my knee no longer hurt. The pain vanished and there was no residual discomfort. One request met. If one laughs continuously from stinky cat poop while releasing their negative energy, does this count as an amplified healing? I vote yes. 

Then it was time to hit the books and the internet to find the deeper meaning from our visitors.   I began to read about Freja, the Goddess of Love and Beauty. (and who the day Friday is named after!) Freja is seen as a force of good in the world and protector of the weak. She is a healer, grants magic and is a powerful source of love and peace.  I’m liking the sounds of this Goddess in my life!

And then as I continue to read, there it is in bold black and white, Freja rides a chariot towed by, you guessed it (if you were guessing), Big Cats.

Not only that, but there is a cat next to her in the picture and a further explanation of her connections to cats. 

Coincidence?

Truthfully, if the cat didn’t stink up the room, I never would have noticed or remembered her visit.  But now, I will never, ever forget.  

Thank you symbolism for the laugh and reiteration that you have a hand...or paw...in just about everything.