The 30 Days of Me

A few weeks ago I came to realize that I have been in survival mode for the past couple of years.  Maybe not full blown survival mode, but always plotting and planning for what’s next and constantly assessing myself for my emotional and mental balance, as well as my financial security. This would be the result of my making one major life decision after another, which my father has pointed out, people just don’t do for a reason.

But I did and they have been the best decisions for me.  Not easy ones, but the best for my growth and long term well-being. I’m still learning from them, but I am finally at a place where my life has something that resembles structure and a bit more security. I have been craving this security so I wanted to acknowledge that it had arrived.  The only problem, I don’t know what it feels like to be settled for longer than a few days.  The thought of settling myself felt unfamiliar and disjointed, but important to try.

So I started to make lists of what I needed to feel more balanced.  Most of it requires organizing and my busy little brain struggles with that one, but I’m working on it.  I also noticed I was beginning to feel even more off balanced when I was trying to balance myself. I know, not cool. 

After a couple weeks went by I noticed I was beginning to feel a real energetic slump.  I listened to myself encourage my clients to reconnect and learn how to support themselves and it all sounded wonderful. I had done all of this before.  I hit an emotional wall one day last week and begged the Universe for support.  And then it was so obvious I was almost a little embarrassed…it was time to take care of me. I had been feeling disconnected and lost which meant it was time to regroup and reconnect.  After all, I am the one I spend the most time with, I might as well enjoy my company.

I questioned how I would support myself and decided to write them all down. The ideas flooded out of my head. Along with activities came introspective questions that were begging to be addressed.  I needed time to do this, but time feels so limited these days. Yet in order to make this work for me I know I needed to commit.

And so the 30 days of Me was born.  I have been doing at least one thing each day that supports, empowers and helps me reconnect to myself and will do so for 30 consecutive days to create this behavioral habit. In order to fully commit to this process and create this program for myself (and in turn you) I am posting my daily questions and some of the activities I am doing on Facebook.  If you are ready to reconnect to yourself (and you are!) follow along and commit to making it happen. Commit to you!! It’s been a week and I am enjoying this process so much! 

Start by creating a list of 30 things you can do to support yourself.  My list is quite diverse including journaling, buying an outfit that empowers me, looking up inspirational quotes, reading the books I’ve been neglecting, watching a movie when I have other things to do, buying myself flowers, exercising, drinking tea in complete silence, making a list of my achievements, updating my business and personal goals, receiving an energy healing, getting a massage, connecting with my children…so many! 

I notice that it is when I need more time for myself that I typically blow off my self- care practices, which is why this is all so important. Sound familiar?

My list of 30 things I can do to support myself is growing rapidly. And I am finding the more I do for myself, the more I enjoy myself even more.

Isn’t it time for you to enjoy yourself? Obvi.

Making A Big Decision When You're Not Sure Which Way is Right

Over the last two and a half years I have made some big changes in my life. And by big, I mean enormous.

First, I moved with my husband and our children from a home I loved for ten years. Shortly after, my husband and I ended a twenty-year relationship and marriage. With that separation, I made the decision to buy the house we had moved to, which on paper, I shouldn’t have been able to buy.

Apparently ending a long commitment and beginning a large financial one on my own wasn’t enough for me though. The following year I resigned from a secure job to pursue a dream I hadn’t fully envisioned and started a business without projected goals.

When I list out all the changes, I start to question my own sanity.

I have never been one to make quick decisions, especially ones that I hadn’t thought through. I was raised by my father, a self-proclaimed workaholic, who spent his career as a high powered executive for a high risk industrial insurance company.

I was not bred to believe in taking chances, to live on instinct alone, and to leave anything that resembled security. You just don’t do that. But something was stirring in me that kept me unsettled.

I knew it was time to make changes, and I knew those changes were absolutely not guaranteed to work in my favor. I was scared—no, terrified—to alter the course of my life, but standing still gave me even more anxiety.

How do you make the decision to change your entire life and know it’s truly right for you?

I have a secret, one that I’ve used consistently in recent years when making decisions that weighed heavily on me.

It’s a technique that simplifies the agonizing back and forths of “should I or shouldn’t I?” One I wished I learned when I was younger to ward off some major bouts of indecisiveness and internal torment. Although in retrospect, I would not have been ready to use it until I was actually ready to hear it....Keep Reading

What Exactly is an Energy Healing and Who Needs One?

Years ago when I started dipping into the New Age world and energy therapy (which turns out, is not so new aged) I was very judgmental.  Although I was interested in learning new ways of thinking I also tended to believe anything other than what I already knew was hokey.  And by hokey, I mean I didn’t understand it and because of that, it made me uncomfortable.  I didn’t want to be one of “those” people who lived in what felt like an alternative reality and looked for answers outside of the mainstream way of life…you know, to suffer and push through frustrated and lost,  and become angry at myself for not being able to figure out why I couldn’t get balanced...mainstream.  I was too grounded in my personal reality to look outside of what I could touch and manipulate.  Yet, I was curious and enamored with those who spoke of living in faith and with ease. I really had no idea what those words meant either.  And the truth was, that hokey life kept following me around and had me questioning what it was all about.  So I asked.

And just as the faithful Genie of the Universe always provides us with wishes, the Genie also provides us with answers. Once I was willing to open my mind and release my judgment, my answers came pouring in.  Through various chance events, I was given one example and opportunity after another to learn and discover for myself what energy therapy was all about.  I started to learn through classes and practice and more classes and more practice and now, I know because I feel it and live it.  And from my learned perspective, I pass on my understanding to you.

It’s actually quite simple.  Our world is made of energy, as are we. Although our lives are pretty amazing in their makeup with our ability to transition, adapt and transform, we have many experiences which feel like they set us back along the way. 

For example, you are going along living your life, enjoying the moments that accompany you. Your river of life is flowing downstream at an easy pace and the little rocks and side brooks are interesting blips in your day, but you can typically easily wash over them or redirect yourself back to the main stream.  As your going along, experiences, like sadness from hearing bad news about a friend or family member, or getting lost on your way to someplace new and feeling nervous, anticipating an important meeting that feels like it can impact your career, getting in an argument with someone you love, worrying about your children and their safety, etc. are those little rocks and side streams. Most of us have decent defense mechanisms, skills and game plans to deal with the discomfort, but still, it slows down the flow of the river of life.  

Not only do we all experience the little rocks and side streams, but many of us bump into larger rocks and bigger streams which split our easy flow.  Choosing which direction to go is not always easy and sometimes we let our waters rest in a pool until we decide which way we want to move.  Life experiences like verbal abuse (both giving and receiving), consistent worrisome, depressive and hopeless thoughts and feelings of being stuck and not knowing which direction to go are all examples of these larger rocks, secondary streams and pools that really slow down our flow and our ability to move freely.  At times, our flow becomes so slow that it may even start to naturally create its own barriers and dams because we become so stagnant and unfiltered. 

This flow, our river of life, is our energy and its ability to move easily is essential in our everyday physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health.  When it becomes stuck we can experience feelings and symptoms of depression, anxiety, and anger.  Along with those emotional triggers come accompanying physical aches and pains and various ailments. If we don’t find ways to unblock our flow, we begin to stop living a life of comfort and ease and the quality of our lives diminish.

Of course, the goal is not to react when our flow becomes stuck, but to notice when it starts to slow down and we intuitively sense a need to change what we are doing or that we could use some help to get our feelings and emotions back into a comfortable balance. This is where energy therapy comes in.  Energy therapy, in whatever form it’s practiced, is meant to help open up the flow and get our groove back.

The healing modality I practice is Integrated Energy Therapy, using the vibration of angelic energy.  During a healing therapy session, I channel (allow the energy from the angels go through me to someone else) the energy flow to my client.  We then pull out old, stagnant energy that gets stuck or slowed in the energy field and integrate positive, empowerment energy back in to the energy field to get ourselves moving and kicking again.  I also read (sense and feel) the energy field for blocks and areas that need some attention and am very eager to tell my clients exactly what they may want to tweak to step out of the old thought and behavior patterns that have been created over time.  This is where my skills as a counselor come in to play the most because I have a great deal of experience and understanding in where these blocks come from (and probably too many suggestions on how to get through them).

We also tap into the soul star (our soul, higher self, inner world, etc) and re-energize the connection we have to ourselves. Once we clear the energy field, it’s so much easier to reconnect with ourselves and so very important!  It often gives us a clearer picture of who we are and why we are here living this life. 

(Click Here for a more in depth description of what Integrated Energy Therapy provides)

At the end of the session, the recipient feels relaxed, peaceful, clear headed and with an awareness that is either a reminder or a brand new way of looking at life and their patterns. Its then up to the client as to what they want to do with this information and awareness.  It’s actually quite awesome how good it feels to clear out our stuck energy and let the good stuff flow. So refreshing, invigorating and empowering!

Healing therapy sessions can be conducted in person or remotely over the phone and are typically an hour in length. The only thing you need to do is be ready to relax. That’s it. I actually love doing them remotely because then the client gets to be in their comfy clothes, in their own environment and without having to drive with a relaxed energy buzz afterwards! In truth, they don’t even have to be done over the phone, they can be done while we are doing other things, but there’s something to be said about taking the time to stop and relax and take care of ourselves while listening to someone tell us what is going on with us and our life, who sometimes haven’t even met us before! 

So who needs an energy healing? Anyone made up of energy! (Yes, even those you don't think are...)

There are many, many energy clearing/healing modalities out there. Many! So when you know it’s time to clear out the muck and get yourself flowing again, ask the Genie for some help and follow the direction it takes you. If you have more questions or would like more information, you can contact me at lynn@livingwithserendipity.com. Happy Healing!

Facing My Fears One Color At A Time

I have been facing some pretty big fears lately. Huge actually. In my head, the continuous voice of “hey, you can’t do that” follows me around from early childhood. It has taken me years to stare that voice down and say “yeah, watch me.”

And truth be told, I am very aware that the fears I am facing now are small compared to the ones I will be facing in the near future. I’m not even sure what they are just yet, but intuitively I know big changes are ahead and I am in need of challenging and redirecting that nagging, negative voice.

Some days the fears are small...speak my honest feelings about a situation I don’t agree with at work.  The fear of not being accepted or even worse, rejected, has dissipated with practice over the years. Life as a counselor has me wanting to please people, but sometimes pleasing people doesn’t actually help them.  This I now know for sure, and practice accordingly.  It not only benefits me, its what is needed for the person I am supporting in their own changes and healing.

Other days the fears are larger...progressing in my business or writing about my personal life and sharing it with anyone who wants to learn.  Exposing my inner most thoughts is both scary and cathartic, but more so, allows me the opportunity to stop judging myself and be proud of who I am and what I’m all about.

And other days, the fears are downright nagging and bothersome.  They seem ridiculous and small, but can be immobilizing.  Today is one of those days. I am painting my bathroom. I know, sounds silly, but creates such anxiety in me.

The perfectionist in me is terrified. What if I picked the wrong color, what if I get paint all over and it’s obvious I’m not good at this? What if I give up and stop doing it midway? What if I get stuck in my head in the silence or even worse, the intense thoughts, and I can’t get back out?

I actually know exactly where these thoughts and anxieties come from.  They are reminders from my past of a time I felt so lost and scared.  I painted my large kitchen two weeks after I bought my house...the house I bought on my own, after the breakdown of my marriage.  The house I never intended on making my own on my own when I first moved in. And I was not the painter in the family- for good reason. My distracted ways and impatience does not lend its hand to thorough paint jobs.

I stared down those walls for two days, trapped in my head and thoughts, wanting to do a good job, questioning if I really liked the color I chose, and praying that soon it would be over.  In the middle of the job I text my friend who is a talented painter and said “If you care at all about me, you will not let me paint again.”  In fact, I still have one strip left that needs to be touched up and I haven’t gone back to it yet from memories alone.  

So I’ve been waiting this project out. It’s the last of the paint jobs for awhile, and it just needs to happen. And it IS happening. I need to face this fear, I will face this fear and that bathroom is going to look good...I’m 87% sure.

And if it doesn’t, does it really matter? No, it will get painted over and I will have faced my fears and felt the pride and excitement that goes with it. Its time to paint over my old life and give it a fresh new look.  After all, life is more stressful if we don’t go with the inevitable changes, so why not be part of the plan?

Skeptic Turned Believer

As a young child, I watched way too many horror movies. Way too many. I was obsessed with scaring the crap out of myself.  I played on Ouji boards, followed my horoscope, attempted to do séances with friends and did reports on Witches, until I was so freaked out I couldn’t read anymore.  I remember reading once in my horoscope that I lost a parent at a relatively young age and that I liked the occult. Creepy and disturbingly true.

How did the stars seem to know so much about me?

My mother’s mental illness had her looking for solace anywhere and I was one of those objects of solace.  She would tell me of her deep sadness and I would say positive, encouraging things to her often. Most of the time, I had no idea what I was even talking about. I was in elementary school, I hadn’t learned too much about the world. Yet, she would always say I knew exactly what to say and when she asked how I knew, I would reply, without hesitation, that God told me to say it. Ain’t no big thang.

Looking back as an adult, with skeptical and questioning logic, I would say, “well, of course it was comforting. She was as depressed as it gets and I was young, hopefuland positive spewing whatever desperate ray of sunshine I could muster.”   But the truth is, I was far from hopeful and positive and not full of sunshine. I wrote one poem after another of darkness and misery, of sadness and anger, of living in a dark hole.  So what if, maybe, just maybe, God really was speaking through me to offer my desperate mother some sense of hope?  

My interest in the occult ended somewhere in adolescence after my mother died and was replaced with booze and numbing out any uncomfortable emotion.  If God had any chance of speaking through me, it was going to have to get through the layer of toxins I’d put in my body.

Somewhere in college, my beloved grandmother started talking to me about the afterlife and her spiritual beliefs and because I loved her so dearly and respected her so much, I jumped on board to the New Age train.  We traded books, talked of God, spirits, energy and strange, serendipitous events.  It was so fascinating and the more I learned, the more peaceful I felt.  Like the missing puzzle pieces were being handed directly to me.

The busyness of full time work, marriage and children distracted me from furthering my spiritual side and instead left me with lots and lots of anxiety.  Although I loved being married and being a mother and greatly enjoyed the work I did as a counselor, the pressure I put on myself to do even more was huge and the voids I felt were large and looming.  There were many whispers and opportunities for me to change my attitude and shake things up, but I tuned many of them out. After all, change is scary!

In the winter of 2013, I was in the darkest place of my life.  My marriage was ending and life as I knew it and dreamed it would be would never be the same.  Yet the entire time, I heard those whispers of support, encouragement of which direction to take and distinct ways to take care of myself. I began to meditate daily, withdrew from my everyday worries and spent months healing with my long time best friend I once married. It was both incredibly painful and incredibly rewarding. I began to understand myself and who I was and appreciate all I had to offer. I allowed my nonstop chatty mind to slow down so I could actually hear my inner thoughts and not just the babble that rambled all day. 

In the early Spring of 2013, I approached the hardest part of my new reality…the physical separation of my family. I dreaded it immensely and questioned myself daily.  It was at this point I was introduced to Integrated Energy Therapy, quite randomly I would add, at a holistic health fair I wasn’t even sure I’d go to.  But I was drawn to the table and the description of what the modality offered.  One empowerment session later and the warmth of the amazing woman who’d eventually be my teacher, and I was hooked. In my typical inquisitive fashion, I skipped receiving a full healing and chose to learn IET instead.  I was intrigued how this stuff worked! The first class was incredible, but wasn’t sure I needed to continue. In my also typical fashion, I questioned everything. Maybe I just needed a flavor…yet I continued to be intrigued.  I took the Intermediate class two weeks later. The class that changed my life.

A week before the classI was in court to officially announce my dissolving marriage. The following week my best friend purchased a house and moved out.  The night before the class I sobbed for hours. The morning of the class, I remember standing in the shower willing myself to move. I don’t recall ever being so depressed. I just kept telling myself I had to get there. I forced myself to go.

I can’t say there was an exact moment or a lightening bolt or anything, but the healings I gave and received that day altered me forever.  My natural skeptic wanted to believe there was something to this energy stuff, but I couldn’t see it, I couldn’t rationalize it, I just had to hope it was true. I knew it made me feel good, but could that be enough?  I could tell you how I physically pulled an energy block out of my friend’s third eye (with lots of angelic help) or how I received “messages” that were loud and clear for me to share. But what made me a believer from that day forward was how I felt, right down to my soul. By the end of the class, my despondent self was long gone and an excited, energized over the top happy me talked my friend’s ear off the entire hour ride home. We still laugh at how I was seemingly on speed!

I have since been trained to become a Master Instructor with lots of fun angelic energy tricks and am able to teach the modality I’ve come to love and immensely respect.  I know, with the utmost confidence that we all benefit from opening ourselves up and allowing ourselves to heal.  And with that healing and trust, our lives can and will change for not the better, but the best! 

Looking back, I do believe that God, the Universe, the Angels, my guides, whatever you want to call that Divine help, played a role in helping me help my mother and every other person who comes to me for help.  I feel so fortunate, so grateful, so blessed to be able to share my gifts.  After all, they are meant to be shared!