I have many, many irrational fears and one of them is running out of gas. It’s never happened to me because once the light goes on I hone in on the first gas station that crosses my path.
The other day the gas light went on and my inner panic lit up with it. I stopped at the first gas station available. One I’m not sure I ever noticed before. As I pulled up to the pump I noticed a young man sitting on the stoop by the door holding a sign made from a ripped cardboard box.
“Homeless…anything helps,” written boldly on the sign.
I noticed my gaze immediately went down. The same way it does when the girl scouts are staked out by the grocery store entrance. I don’t want the cookies and I don’t want to be guilted by the cookies, but now I feel guilted by their cute little faces. “Look away, Lynn, look away.”
His face was not cute. It was lost.
Don’t look away, Lynn. I heard my inner voice say.
What?? I thought we were supposed to look away. This is uncomfortable. I can’t fix his pain. I can’t make it stop. I can’t face him knowing I have a warm place to go and food to eat that I get to cook.
Don’t look away. The voice more pronounced.
Fine. I looked directly at him and his eyes met mine.
I looked down and saw $6 in my console that had been there for weeks. I rarely ever have cash. “Anything helps.”
I opened the car door and walked directly over to him, cash in hand. I acknowledged it was very little and I hoped he found what he needed soon.
He immediately got up and looked me in the eyes. His eyes were clear and bright. His voice confident and filled with gratitude.
“Thank you. I’m just waiting on my birth certificate from Texas and am working with a social worker at the soup kitchen to get a job.”
I felt his inner warmth, his spark, his optimism.
I met it with my own.
“There are many services to get you back on your feet. I’ve used some of them myself and I know it takes awhile, but it does help. I’ve been there.”
He gently smiled acknowledging that winter was hard but he was hopeful things would change soon.
I wished him well and returned to fueling my car and was on my way.
Once out of sight, the tears came fast. I couldn’t stop them or slow them down.
I cried for his plight, his pain, his challenges, and the loneliness I’m sure he feels. I cried for those who feel the same, including myself, and the moments I’ve had (and still have) where overwhelm takes over and questioning everything feels consuming.
I cried for the human condition and how many people live with hopelessness that this is all their is.
And then, when I was done crying, I asked myself what I wanted to DO about it. How could I best serve? How could I help the young man? How can I touch the loneliness and helplessness we all feel at times? How can I use my skills and resources with the limited capacity I have to do my part- whatever that is?
Keep sharing Hope, Lynn. Keep sharing the stories of Hope. Everyone needs the reminders, including you.
I took the answer as the sign I needed to keep moving forward. To keep plugging along. To keep listening to that inner fire that says- we all make a difference.
And that is what I will do.
I later met my friend at a cafe and designed small cards I can hand out to strangers and people I meet to remind them there is Hope. There is Support. There is Love to be felt by all. I will keep asking and sharing Stories of Serendipity to reignite and remind our Faith to keep burning.
What is your nudge? What is the little voice that speaks in terms of passion and aliveness? What lights you up?
Go there. Keep blowing on the embers. “Anything helps.”
Who knows what your spark is meant to create?
If you have a Story of Serendipity to share, please do! We ALL need the reminders.
Submit Your Story:
http://www.livingwithserendipity.com/submit-story-of-serendipity
Get your weekly dose of Hope:
https://lynnreilly.substack.com/